Thanks for the kind words :) Please, let us know what operating system is used on the local and remote PCs. Also, are you trying to capture the sound from the sound card (say, music being played on the remote PC) or the microphone's input?
When I mean load I mean't by the computers icon wouldn't change from offline to showing their desktop.
Make sure the "Auto-logon" feature is disabled. It's in the Properties for the target remote PC entry -> Security -> Auto-logon check box.
I knew about the icon changing colors, but does their background change or flicker or anything like that ?
Only the mouse pointer can flicker in certain circumstances. Say, when you enable 'Capture alpha-blending windows' in the Properties. And of course, if you connect in Full Control mode, the remote user will notice it by an unexpected movement of their mouse cursor. :)
The ping command is used only to tell if the remote computer is online. It has nothing to do with actually connecting.
I finally had to connect w view only for it to load.
Load what, sorry? What was that you wanted to accomplish? But just in case - if you want to use the "stand by" mode without actively connecting - just use the Logon command (available on the toolbar and in the context menu for selected remote PC in the connection list).
Also if I connect to them with control or only viewing. Can they tell when I do ?
Yes, the Host's icon in the system tray will turn red (from blue).